Jellyfish
by Tribelle
Summary: All sorts wash themselves up on the shores of plastic beach. Even ex-band members. Oneshot. T.


**AN:** Yeah. I updated it with a few minor changes. Too many 'horrors' used XD Also, the 'female musician' is now called Beth. Happy now, Miss Wood? XDD

If 2D hadn't seen it with his own two eyes he would never have believed it.

His first reaction was to run away screaming hysterically, because he'd first thought it to be a whale. However - upon later inspection he found that it wasn't a whale at all. It was a _giant._ A giant human being swept up onto the beach completely unconscious - with a jellyfish happily perched upon his head. It was quite possibly the strangest thing that had ever turned up on plastic beach since they had arrived there - and 2D would know; Murdoc charged him with detritus duty every dawn and dusk rain or shine. All sorts had it's habit of turning up on plastic beach, but never before had an entire person swept up amongst it's shores.

It was also true to say that if he'd known who it was at first glance he probably wouldn't have poked him with his trash picker. The large mass of oversized human shot upright with such a force he managed to launch the jellyfish straight back into the ocean from whence it had came.

"Damn jellyfish." The Giant growled woozily. "That man-O-war's not left me since I passed Portugal."

It was only at the sound of his old companion's voice that 2D finally realised who it was. Despite his friend's now freakishly large frame, he downed his trash tools and instantly began hugging one of his tree-trunkesque arms - the only part on the strangers body that 2D could actually get a hold of with his skinny excuses of upper limbs.

"Oh my god, RUSS'!" He cried, squeezing the life from the giant's arm. "You have NO idea how glad I am to see you, blud! Mud's is making my life a living NIGHTMARE."

"Hey, hey, D. Off." Russell mumbled, trying to swat his tiny fellow band member away from his arm - hitting him to the face in the process with one of his incredibly oversized fingers. "I gotta...wait." He said, shaking himself out of his stupor and focusing on his incredibly large hand - which was now the size of a car tire in span.

"What the HELL?!" He roared, patting himself down in a panic. "2D, what's wrong with me? What happened?!"

The slightly stunned 2D gazed up at him in awe. "Havn't a clue, mate. I juss' came rubbish picking' and you were there face down in the sand, 'size of a giant." Russell looked at the rest of his body in disbelief. "I've gotta say though, you scared the living shit outta' me Russ. I 'fought you were a whale or somefing'."

"Wh...where's Murdoc?" Russ spluttered, trying to drag himself onto his feet, unsteady in his newly found gigantic state. "Go get him D, I reckon he has something to do with this."

"NO, don't!" 2D hissed, flapping around Russel like he was engaged in some bizarre tribal dance. "He's got people coming, musician's and shit - don't stand up or you'll get his attention and he's gonna go MAD if he sees you here!"

"I don't care, 2D! If he's been doing some sort of psycho hedonist voodoo ritual again and turned me into a giant somehow I swear to god I am going to beat the shit out of him-" Russel stepped free of 2D and tried to walk the rest of the beach to Point Nemo. Unused to his newly acquired size however his body carried on as he stopped walking, and Russel fell into an explosive face-plant that sent tremors all across Plastic Beach.

Seconds later, Murdoc appeared at the door with nothing but a towel on to cover his dignity and a rather disgruntled looking female musician. "2D!" Murdoc howled, stomping out into the sand to find him. "I do not have time for any of your bullshit today! Where the fu-"

His voice cut off and his face fell as the enormous giant that was now Russel Hobbs marched across the mass of plastic to meet him; a skinny rib of a friend following close behind. Russ leant down to Murdoc's height and shone him a threatening smile.

"Ah, Murdoc." He grinned. "Just the evil waste of human space I was looking for. Wanna try explaining THIS?"

He swung his arm across his body in an effort to emphasize his now-giant stature. Unfortunately - again, he miscalculated the strength of his enormous limb and sent it crashing through the window of the study. Frightened screams and panicking shouts echoed from the gathered musicians inside at the sight of Russ's hand smashing into the room. It was like a scene from a bad Godzilla remake. Murdoc was screaming like a madman as Russel slowly managed to take out half the study in one huge swoop of his arm.

"MY JUKEBOX!" He cried, eyes wide in horror at it's crushed remains on the artificial sand in front of him. "YOU BASTARD, YOU'VE DESTROYED MY JUKEBOX!"

An odd, awkward silence fell between everyone on the beach. Even the people inside stopped screaming when they realised no further attack had been planned. Russ straightened himself up and realised the sheer severity of what had just happened; he laughed guiltily, and with a sheepish smile said:

"Heh heh....my bad. Does uh...does this make us equal now?"

The rage level in Murdoc's mind had exploded beyond capacity; and after the recent events he didn't even know how to respond any more. His brain had rendered him utterly speechless. Instead, he grabbed the somewhat buxom brunette beside him and stormed back into the building, punching his meet n' greeter in the face as he tried to offer a "Lift! The Lift, Boss!" in a...well. Greeting. The faint 'ping' of the elevator doors was heard and Murdoc disappeared back into the depths of the Point Nemo hub.

"Don't worry, mate." 2D mumbled, still not fully registering what had just happened. "The jukebox didn't even work any more."

"Goddamnit." Russel echoed, staring down at the carnage he had caused. Was his life _ever_ going to get any easier?


End file.
